Highlights of Rome: A Photo Essay

Palm trees in Rome. Unexpected, yet delightful.

Happy New Year everyone! Woo hoo 2012! Now, let's get to what you're really here for: hot travel porn. So, without further ado . . .

WELCOME TO ROME WEEK AT OF REVOLT! This week I will be bringing you the best of the best from the Italian capital: fountains, churches, ruins, and yes, even some stairs! Heck yeah! I decided on a photo-heavy post considering it's only January 2nd and a lot of you are probably still hungover from New Year's and the words in sentences are swimming around all over the screen so that everything you read just looks like this:

jhlj sifpfph iwqueiyr ff ksiqw djsdlfh djkk jdory

? ? ?

I know; it's confusing. So this one goes out to my hard-partying brethren today, especially since Dan and I spent New Year's Eve in our pajamas, drinking $3 bottles of wine, eating leftovers, and making pot brownies. It was awesome. Read on readers . . . 

Fontana della Barcaccia in Piazza di Spagna.

So here we have both a fountain and some stairs; it's a real two-fer, you know? Just kidding! Nobody cares about that fountain; there are about 17,000 fountains in Rome. (Though I did look it up on Wikipedia and found out that the fountain has a name - Fontana della Barcaccia, meaning Fountain of the Old Boat - and it was commissioned because the Tiber River often flooded, and one flood in the early 1500s was so bad that, after the water withdrew, a boat was left in the square. So they built river walls around the city and this fountain. Ba da bing!)

Anyway, the real attraction here is the staircase. No joke my friend: them steps is famous.

At the top of the Spanish Steps: Trinità dei Monti.

Although to the English-speaking world they're known as the Spanish Steps, in Italian they're called Scalinata della Trinità dei Monti because they lead up to the - you guessed it! - Trinità dei Monti, a monastery built in the early 1500s. Dan and I didn't have a chance to go in. Besides, by the time we got to Rome we'd seen so many churches and cathedrals that seeing another just would have been a snoozefest. We saved our energies for conquering the Vatican, which we'll talk about on Wednesday, mmkay?



So here's, like, THE fountain. It's the fountain that bitch-slaps every other fountain in the world because, well, it can. It's Fontana di Trevi and I waited with bated breath for Anita Ekberg to step out from underneath the grotto and start splashing around in that gorgeous black gown of hers because I'd go gay for her sometimes I forget that movies are not real. (If you have no idea what I am talking about, please go ahead and click on the link I am about to provide: La Dolce Vita - Trevi Fountain Scene.)

It is nigh-impossible to get a daytime photo of the Trevi without a bunch of other tourists in it, which is a real shame because the colors, I think, stand out best in the afternoon. The blue of the water is so cerulean blue, and the stone is not just beige but also pink and cream and dove-gray - really lovely. The tradition is to throw a coin in the fountain to ensure a return to Rome, and an estimated 3,000€ are thrown in each day. The coins are donated to the Italian Red Cross. Nice, right?

The Pantheon on a rainy day in Rome.

This is the Pantheon. It used to freak me out when I saw buildings that are older than my country by thousands of years, but I'm pretty used to it by now. I look at the Pantheon and see that it was built in 27 B.C. and I'm like, whatevs. No biggie.

I mean, don't get me wrong: it's cool. I dig history. I considered majoring in history before I was like, Let me get the most useless degree possible. English Literature with a minor in Philosophy? Fuck yeah! Anyway, here are some facts about the Pantheon:

Fact #1: It was commissioned by Marcus Agrippa as a temple to all the gods of ancient Rome.
Fact #2: There is also a Panthéon in Paris, though theirs was deconsecrated and turned into a secular monument.
Fact #3: The Pantheon has been enormously influential in Western architecture. Some famous examples that follow its portico and dome structure are the Santa Maria del Fiore in Florence and the Rotunda at the University of Virginia, designed by Thomas Jefferson.

Those are enough facts for now. Here's a picture of people inside:

Interior of the Pantheon.

That sure is a lot of people! Also, here is another picture. Do you smell what I smell?

Religious articles, my ass.

That smell, my friends, is BULLSHIT. I call BULLSHIT on this entire store. DO YOU SEE WHAT THE SIGN SAYS? It says "RELIGIOUS ARTICLES." Do you know what they actually sell in there? CRAPPY SOUVENIRS. The sign should say CRAPPY SOUVENIRS.

Shenanigans.

This is the Coliseum at night.

That would be the Coliseum at night. Can we talk about this for a sec? I totally expected it to be cordoned off into its own area at the top of a hill or something. But it's actually just, I don't know, kind of sitting in the middle of a traffic circle. Just, you know, there. AND IT'S THE FUCKING COLISEUM.

That's the crazy thing about Rome, though. One minute you're just walking along the road with your pistachio gelato and then you look to the side and there are RUINS THAT ARE THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD AND HAVE MORE TO SAY THAN YOUR 83 YEAR-OLD AUNT MYRNA WHO ALWAYS GETS DRUNK AT FAMILY REUNIONS. Dan and I took a taxi after his show one night and the driver gave us an impromptu tour of the city as he drove us home. I wish I could remember everything he said, but I was a bit scared for our lives because he punctuated the end of every sentence with a maniacal laugh that you giggle along with because you're nervous and you don't want this crazy person to kill you.

He had some good stories, though.

That's Dan, looking handsome in front of the Coliseum.

That's me, Gremlin-like as ever. 

Bye! See you Wednesday!

WAIT! Let's start 2012 off on the right foot, shall we? GO "LIKE" OF REVOLT'S FACEBOOK PAGE. RIGHT HERE: https://www.facebook.com/ofrevolt.

Thanks guys. You're swell.

Okay, bye!